Seeing My Father in His Late Stage of Alzheimer’s: Finding Presence in His Legacy

Watching my father navigate the late stages of Alzheimer’s has been both heart-wrenching and profoundly eye-opening. This man, who once seemed larger than life, was full of wonder and knowledge about the world. He was my greatest teacher, sharing with me a contagious curiosity that transformed the ordinary into the extraordinary. Whether we were marveling at a bird in flight or discussing some forgotten corner of history, he had a way of making everything feel alive and worth exploring. He didn’t just teach me facts; he taught me to see.

But in these last eight or ten years, I’ve watched as his world shrank, piece by piece, until it disappeared entirely into the fog of his illness. The man who once brimmed with ideas and boundless energy now sits quietly, his thoughts and words slipping through the cracks of memory. I sit with him, holding his hand, searching for pieces of the father I remember while also grieving the parts of him that have faded.

Yet, in these moments, I’ve found something unexpected: a heightened awareness of the present. As I watch him, I feel an urgent clarity about what it means to be here, alive, and connected to the people around me. I see how short and fleeting our time is, how the stories we tell and the lives we touch are what endure. My father spent his life giving so much of himself to others—his family, his friends, and anyone he encountered. Even now, as his memories fade, the legacy of his generosity and curiosity remains deeply rooted in me.

Honoring him feels like more than just remembering who he was—it feels like living in a way that reflects his spirit. It’s asking myself, what parts of me do I want to share with the world? How can I make my presence as meaningful as his was?

In the quiet moments by his side, I reflect on the lessons he taught me, both through his words and through his example: to stay curious, to love deeply, and to share freely. His life reminds me that even as our bodies and minds fail, the love and knowledge we share leave an indelible mark on the people around us.

So, as I sit here, holding his hand, I carry forward his legacy by asking myself: How can I be present? How can I build a life that reflects the best of what he gave me? And most importantly, how can I leave the world around me a little brighter, just as he did?

For my father, who gave so much of himself and continues to shape who I am, I will honor him by living with intention, presence, and love.